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Reproduced from: National Lesbian and Gay Health Foundation Conference, July 1990
- Only heterosexual women get battered. Men are never victims of domestic violence and women do not abuse.
- Domestic violence is more common in heterosexual relationships that it is in lesbian or gay male relationships.
- It isn't really violence when a same-sex couple fights. It is just a lover's quarrel and a fair fight between equals.
- It isn't really violence at all when gay men fight. It’s just boys being boys.
- The batterer will always be butch, bigger and stronger. The victim will always be femme, smaller and weaker.
- People who are abusive when under the influence of drugs or alcohol are not responsible for their actions.
- Gay men's domestic violence has increased as a result of alcoholism, drug abuse and the AIDS epidemic.
- Lesbian and gay domestic violence is sexual behavior, a version of sadomasochism. Victims actually like it.
- The law does not and will not protect victims of same-sex domestic violence.
- Lesbian and gay male victims exaggerate the violence that happens to them. If it were really that bad, they could and would just leave.
- It is easier for lesbian or gay victims of domestic violence to leave the abuser than it is for heterosexual battered women.
- Domestic violence primarily occurs among gay men and lesbians who hang out at bars, are poor or are people of color.
- Victims often provoke the violence done to them. They are getting what they deserve.
- Lesbian or gay male victims of domestic violence are co-dependent.
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